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pssst, 9/11 WAS an inside job. ooooh, you believed me! Psych!

& these are his good qualities




















I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me

Connect the dots, b'yitches!



















you call yourself a hair transplantationist? you're fired

Well, I like it, so F off, peasant.




















remember i'm not only the president of the hair club for men, i'm also a....ah fuck it, it's a rug

The results are almost as real as my wig



















hey bud, let's party!

The real reason George wants to stay in Afghanistan





















nope, we don't miss you either
























like my new rug? yeah, me neither

What it look like?






Submitted for your approval: A couple o' April Fools


So much for my recent bout of topic block. W giving advice on how Obama should handle the continuing skirmish in Afghanistnam? What is this, some kind of God damn joke? The sad part is, this chucklehead is quite serious. Say, here's an abstract concept for you, If W ever gave a flying fuck about all the women in Afghanistan, he wouldn't have started dropping bombs there place 8 years ago. I'm sure that the Muslim women were the foremost thing on his mind when he decided to borrow money from China for unlimited bombing parties over there. Perhaps if Ronald Reagan & his dad hadn't recruited, trained & armed Osama Bin Laden in the 1st place, we wouldn't even be having this discussion. But, he did, & we are, so there you have it. &, How do you explain George's sudden interest in Afghanistan? & do you really think the women in Afghanistan are any safer now than they were prior to G Dub's invasion? Jesus, what a crock of shit. Muslim men treat their women like garbage regardless of how many American troops are hanging around. What George, do you think there are special batallions assigned to watching the women over there? I, for one, find it sort of hard (though not completely, given your level of village idiocy) to believe you’re really that naïve George, considering you're the one who started the war. There there everybody, we all know that Osama Bin Laden really started it, right? Right. But, I think we also all know what a super judge of Intel Bush was, so do we really know that Bin Laden ever was or still is hunkering down in some Afghani cave? The answer of course, being...no. However, if he was, & I mean really was there, how long do you think he remained once the saturation bombing started? I'm sure that once he realized the shit wasn't going to stop, he bagged ass for Pakistan or elsewhere, tout de suite. Anyone with any actual intelligence knew that, & yet, we still continued to bomb anyhoo. It makes one think profits may've been @ stake.

laura, for allah's sake, would you put some clothes on?

If anyone should know, it's not him

&, now W wants Obama to follow his & Laura's advice? To what end, the occupation of Afghanistan in perpetuity? He had about 7 years to figure out an exit strategy & just couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. But don't feel bad for him, it's only because he never tried to, not because he's a fucking moron or anything, sheesh. I mean, who are we kidding? Plus, his advisors told him not to, so we'd be fools to think he'd have the balls to go against them or (shudder) his father. &, speaking of advisors...I think we all know that the impetus behind Bush doing this is that he's being pushed by Laura, who likes to pretend that she is still making a difference, but in reality, she’s merely trying to make her husband look intelligent & Obama look inept. Think about it though, just how much of a disabling lack of skill would you have to exhibit in life in order to make G.W. Bush look good by comparison? You would have to be pretty slow on the uptake. Let’s face it, the only reason W has had any kind of success in his lifetime is through sheer dumb luck, he’s dumb & lucky enough to come from a family of extremely successful criminals. He hasn’t really accomplished anything himself; he’s merely been placed or better yet, advised into various positions of power. &, know that I think about it, just what exactly does he mean early withdrawal? We’ve been there 8 years & if my calculations are correct, & they always are, we’re getting exactly nowhere. We’re no longer there to catch Osama Bin Laden, so why are we still there?

why take my advice? well, i dunno, cuz i'm smart er sumthin' er nuther

Please go away, & take her witcha'

Let me guess, Halliburton still isn't finish rebuilding it's infrastructure yet because they're waiting for another check from China to clear? Or better yet, they're too busy designing oil rigs that explode. Do the world a favor George, stop trying to advise Obama on how to clean up your messes, because you surely didn't want to do it when you were in office, when it counted. You're so arrogant, you seriously think you got out clean, don't you? &, for God's sake, pleeease stop writing books about why you made the decisions you made specifically to destroy the American way of life for all non 1%ers. You were successful in accomplishing that & are set for life financially while most everyone else in this country is struggling just to get by, so, I guess congratulations are in order, fuckface. All the people who've been kicked out of their houses because they've lost their jobs or can't even afford the gas it'll take to get to some shitty job aren't living day to day, they're living minute to minute. While 90% of America is living hand to mouth, you're being waited on hand & foot by your service staff & don't even give what you've done to the American people a second thought, saying that you did what you did to protect the American people & their interests. You were only looking after your families & your campaign contributors' interests. Now, no one can blame you for looking after your family, any decent man does that, but @ the expense of an entire country? It certainly begs the question, the Hell's wrong witchu'?. While you're eating gourmet BBQ & what not, there are children dying from starvation in the streets. I would ask you how you felt about that George, but I already know the answer, you don't really care & the only reason that you even pretend to care is that Laura makes you. She's also seems to be naive enough to think that if you two remain in the public eye & act interested in current events, commoners will like you & not continue to think that you are a treasonous, murderous, war criminal, even though everyone knows that you are. She wants to revise history but it won't work, you fudged possibly beyond repair, & everyone remembers. I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead to fade into oblivion already & @ least let us try & forget you. In other words, stop pretending to care about us or Afghan women or anyone but yourself, because we're not buying it.

damn, it's windy. auf wiedersehen, mein hair.

What trumps truth? Why, it's Trump, of course

World renowned, impossibly rich, real estate mogul, reality tv star & all around superior being, Donald Trump, is deeply concerned that Obama was not born in the United States of Americans, & is in fact, not an American @ all. &, this concerns him to the point where he just cannot seem to stop talking about it. What a great guy, bringing his concerns to light like that so we can worry about it ,too. The problem is, he's not really concerned about what the implications of having a non American president could be in relation to how it pertains to his ability or even desire to run the country, which; is what I'd be concerned about. Nope, he's merely planning to use this as political leverage in the event he decides to run for president. Does anyone else find that insulting @ all? Does Donald think we're all stupid enough to fall for that nonsense? Apparently, he does, because he goes on national tv with that smug look on his obviously surgically enhanced mug & tries to frighten us with more of his elitist rhetoric, as though he's personally appalled @ Obama's alleged dishonesty. This, from the guy who's made a career out of making crooked real estate deals. What? Think I'm talking out of turn? Do you think I'm making claims that I can't back up? Well, when he's not on tv trying to tear down would be political opponents, he's on tv bristling with pride about how he personally fucked none other than embattled Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi himself in a real estate scam. The fact that he brags about it is proof that if by some Godless miracle he happens to become elected, what makes anyone think he'd have any qualms about fucking over the American people if it meant more profit? There is no doubt in my mind that's exactly what he's dreaming about on his huge pillow @ this very moment. &, where the hell is the SEC? Trump boasts on television how he routinely swindles foreign leaders in property deals, &, to my knowledge, has never even been the subject of any investigation. I don't know, seems pretty fair to me, I guess. I mean, if you can keep getting away with it, more power to you. Right, W? I mean, Donald? I do mean Donald, right? Yes, of course I do.

to draw caricatures of me is...redundant

Whaaat, someone's craftier then Trump?

But, what are the odds Trump wasn't one of the ®epublicans who were up in arms & calling for Hillary Clinton's head over Whitewater? Which, incidentally, was investigated extensively with no proof of any real wrong doing ever coming to light. How is Trump exempt from any sort of punishment? He believes that if Obama isn't an American after all, then it is the biggest scam of all scams ever perpetrated in the history of history, & let me tell, you, it pisses him off to think that he's been outdone. Oh, how sad it is when someone obviously as superior as the Donald is made to feel even the tiniest bit inferior. God knows we can't allow that to happen. Then again, all he has to do is look into the mirror @ his face & his (choke), hair if he wants to see something truly inferior. I mean, for someone who has all the money in the world @ his disposal, he is one ugly excuse for a human being. I hope he fired his plastic surgery & hair transplant teams for the botch job they did on him. Did they dye his face red or something, I mean what gives? Did he set out to look like something out of Madame Tussauds? & I know, I know, we've all made fun of his hair before but Holy Mother of Jehosaphat, just look @ it! Obviously, he knows how horrible it looks but he's awfully defiant about the way he just puts it out there for everyone to see. It's like his own personal little joke on the world & I don't even wanto to get it. &, I don't want that fucker to be president either, flying around on Hair Force 1 like he's King Shit of Turd town. If he's as rich as he touts himself as being, he could bail out half the people in this country that have lost everything largely due to people like himself. He could feed & clothe most of the homeless in America, but he won't. Instead, he'll just continue to acquire & acquire & if he does become president, if you think the middle class is in trouble now, you haven't seen anything yet. & believe me, you have seen some things.

What kind of sick person even wants that job?

As far as the issue of Obama not being born in the United States, I guess we may never really know. My primary concern @ this point is whether or not he's still actually even up for the job. I mean, if anyone thought he was in over his head when he took office, just imagine how high he's having to look up now. When Obama took over the White House, all he essentially had to worry about was fixing all of the problems left behind by his predecessor. Now, he has the pressure of the expectation that he is supposed to solve all of the world's problems when he's barely begun to make any headway on fixing Bush's fuck ups. You would think @ some point, he'd just say fuck it & call it a day. There's just too much shit going on in the world for any normal person to even want to deal with. But nooo, not Obama, he's even gone so far as to announce his bid for re election. That proves to me that there's something seriously wrong with that guy. Either he cares too much about America or he's a Muslim terrorist after all. Although, if he was really a terrorist, how do you explain how he allows Michele Obama to show her face & legs in public all the time, hmmm? I'll bet all you tea bagging redneck yahoos neglected to factor that one into the equation, eh? But, I'm guessing that after another year after trying to work with all those non partisan ®epublicans & making zero progress because they're far more worried about keeping things in a perpetual state of ruin because they really believe it'll gain them entry back into the White House, he'll wish he wasn't born @ all, well; @ least not in the United States anyway. &, Kenya will start to look pretty fucking good to him, if it doesn't already.


People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you -GW Bumblenuts