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It's Lindsays' world, be glad you don't live in it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

iraq? afghanistan? don't matter if youre drunk

We get all our rum from Rumsfeld

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

glug glug glug glug

How far indeed?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they tried to make me go to seahab i said okay, as long as they're serving tropical drinks

Ahhh, Seahab

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she is my precious!!!!

What? Someone loves him? Shut the fuck up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

whattup, cuz?

Man, I need Photoshop

 

 

 

 

gargle gargle, choke choke

 

11-21-2010

 

Tsk Tsk, Lindsay, you're not even deep enough to play Deep Thoat. Ya' heard me, I done said Thoat! &, the Ragin' Cajun: Republicanizationally replificated?

 

Lindsay Lohan, Hollywood's current longest running train wreck, could not even muster the stability to portray former porn train wreck, Linda Lovelace in the biopic, Inferno: The Linda Lovelace Story

Apparently, the producers were unable to obtain insurance for Lindsay because of all of her troubles. But, compared to what Lovelace actually went through, Lindsay’s problems are minimal.  In fact, Lindsay couldn't even hold Linda's formidable jock strap. Come to think of it, I don't believe Linda Lovelace had a jock strap to begin with. You win this round Lindsay, but we will meet again. Now, back to our regularly scheduled lambasting of Lindsay. To add insult to insult, they are also looking for a replacement for Lindsay on The Parent Trap II: Back Door Desires. On Lifetime: Television for Women. Word has it that Lindsay's particularly disappointed about that one because of all the research she had to do to get into character, & now her buttocks is all sore fer nuthin', ouch!! Oh, how cruel Hollywood can be to young crack whores. It's really too bad though, because after a couple of years of looking really dried up & haggard, Lindsay was finally beginning to look healthy again. &, with her cameo in Machete, playing a porn wannabe, it looked like Lindsay was on her way to making a comeback. So, naturally, she tried to gravitate toward a role that made best use of her inate abilities; getting wasted while being plowed by complete strangers. If you allow yourself to think about it from purely a creative standpoint, given what we know about Linda Lovelace, Lindsay was the perfect choice, with Linda being pimped out by her husband Chuck Traynor while Lindsay was pimped out by her very own mom, Dina. Although, I would imagine Dina probably didn’t have to hold an M-14 to her head to get her to exploit herself, it probably just took a few drinks & an 8 ball o' coke. Ahhh, the simple life. No wait, that was Paris Hilton, but she’s quite the whore as well, so you gotsta' @ least give me style points on that one. Awww, thanks.

 

i don't need a car, the wind will blow me to my next client lemme just reach in & git sump'n delightful fo' ya!

Rendered obsolete @ 24? Try prostitution

Lindsay’s latest rehab adventure though, has prompted the makers of the film to come out & say that even though they’ve stuck by her all this time, even to the point of releasing promo pics featuring Lindsay, they now believe she just needs to concentrate on getting better. In other words, carry yo’ crackety ass elsewhere, hooka’! &, to prove they were serious, they came out the next day & proclaimed they have tapped Malin Ackerman to play the tortured former sex star instead of the tortured former child star. &, who wouldn’t want to tap Malin Ackerman…for a movie role, I mean. Who wouldn’t want to tap Malin Ackerman for a movie role? She is a fairly good actress in her own rite, after all, & probably won’t be raising nearly as many insurance questions as Lindsay…or, any even. Fortunately for ol’ Linds, though, she’s probably going to be too hammered to even realize she’s been fired until much much later. When she finally does get out of rehab , she’ll probably be out on a date sometime & end up standing in line to see Inferno, & then it’ll hit her like a ton o' bricks…she’s actually sober. Then, she’ll have to hit up some clubs & do sump’n bout dat, know what I’m sayin’?  Then, couple of weeks later, she’ll realize she was standing in line to see the movie she didn’t even know she'd been fired from in the 1st place, & will be so upset, she’ll have to have several dozen drinks to drown her sorrows. &, even then, she will still never really fully understand it. Poor lil' Lindsay, too drunk & too stupid to realize how drunk & stupid she is. She's been tragically reduced to the lowest common denominatrix. But hey, look on the bright side, Lindsay, @ least you're not Amy Winehouse. That's what I always tell myself when I feel down, & then I feel ever so much better. Actually, though, I believe Amy Winehouse is doing much better than you these days, so...never mind, Lindsay. Here's an idea, just tell yourself that you're not you, & happiness will surely follow.

they tried to make me go to rehaaab, but i got fucked up & forgot to go oh oh

 

Just whatchu' tryin' to accomplish, Carville?

You have to wonder just what the H so called Ragin' Cajun, James Carville is thinking by going after Obama with his comment about Hillary giving up one of her balls so that they could each have one. I've got news for you James, she could give up 1 & still have 2 to spare, but, that’s not the point. The point is, you are allegedly a Democratic strategist, & reiterating this type of comment @ this stage of Obama’s presidency seems a little counterproductive in terms of helping the Democratic party, especially seeing as how they just suffered a huge loss 2 Tuesdays ago. Of all the things people say about the president, I think this is fairly mild, Carville said. I repeated a joke I made in the campaign. So what? You shouldn't have even made the joke in the 1st place if you call yourself a Democrat, or is that all a part of your new strategy to loudly distance yourself from the Democratic party & gradually morph into a Pixar prayin' mantrix lookin' republican somebody? I'm just trying to sort of hone in on your central thesis of debasing the president who just so happens to be a Democrat, the party you claim to be a strategist of. But, what the hell, if you can't install anymore of your own clients into office, maybe that says more about you than it does Obama, who you apparently despise. I suppose that I can sort of understand why you’re doing this though, considering, you haven’t been able to pull out a decent American political victory since 96, & now, you're bitter as a result. After all, wasn't it essentially your own shabby mishandling of Gore’s campaign that allowed 8 years of W? Thanks ever so much, Dick. Why, in all of your infinite wisdom, couldn't you talk Gore into utilizing Bill Clinton, perhaps the greatest campaigning politician in American history to help him battle Bush?  &, I ain't so sure that Clinton could'na done beaten W's dad himself anyway, & he certainly could’ve easily beaten Bob Dole in 96, so don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back over that one, Sparky. Perhaps, & this is just an idea, you might ought to get on with some of that there whatcha'll call strategizing & guide some Dems to victory in 2012 & offer Obama your legendary services por gratis for acting like a turncoat who appears ready to jump on the wrong bandwagon.

But, what can one Coonass do to help?

But, If I know you, & I think I do, you ain't fixin' to be doing nuthin' to help Obama or America, will ya? So, why don’t you just go ahead & assassinate Obama, sleep with Michelle, pour sugar in his gas tank while killing his kids' puppy & toilet papering the White House, then, recruit Ralph Nader to run as a Democrat with you as a running mate & whatever other horrible atrocity you can think of to ensure the republicans a landslide victory across the board in 2012 so that America can implode under it’s own impetus & then we can brace for attacks from every other country in the world including all of our former allies & put an end to life as we know it in this country already? Do you think you can handle all that, Benedict Arnold? Now, there’s a good boy.  

 

ya'll should vote for mitt romney, he's wondermous i garawntee. aaaa eeeee!!

 

 

When your opponent is drowning, throw the sumbitch an anvil -James Carville