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The world ain't stoppin' fer Dick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you vant some gefilte fish to go? ve can do that bubby

Ven you're here, you're Mishpucha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you'll go, you'll do....it'll be a mitzvah!

Let's eat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

who wants penis? i do, i do!

Tri sexual or fagela?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i'm gonna need a bigger glass over here!

Put this on your table

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you call this a shmear?

Mazel Tov, khaveyrim!

 

 

for this much coke, i'll suck my own shmeckle!

8-19-11

Oi, gevald, Andy Shmeckle is Meshugeneh!

 

Andy Dick has been called a great many thangs over the last couple of decades, freak, ass-playa', queen; bitch...whatever, the list goes on. Now, we can add a new nick moniker, anti-Semite, to the repertoire. Usually when Dick opens his mouth, it's to accept a load of some kind, this time, however, a load is what came out of it... like a big, racist, hateful splooge! Dick, apparently doesn't like to accept responsibility for his own failures, so this time, he's blaming none other than the former self-proclaimed king of all media, Howard Stern. Dick called Stern a shallow, money-grubbing Jew with a big fat hook nose, & while that might indeed be true on some levels, the putz doesn't need to come right out & say it. Gee whiz Andy, your show gets cancelled & you feel the need to rag on Howard Stern? True, he's a well-known Shmendrick & yes, he is Jewish, but what does have to do with anything? Your show was cancelled Andy, because it sucked dick, & not in the good way. Well, not in the way you like to do it, that's for sure. Besides, Stern's nose ain't fat; it's thin, like a beak, like a Jewish angry bird, as it were. But, that's beside the point. Andy Dick has seen fit to start a war of words with Stern, & it seems to be a war he can't win. Who knows, maybe Stern did fuck over Dick somehow & we just don’t know about it yet. Andy is quite the bitter buckets & though this tirade seems to prove he has a certain amount of chutzpah, he’s just not all that clever with words, unfortunately for him. What a shlimazel. Next thing you know, we'll find out that racist bastard doesn't even like schvartzes.

now, here's a couple o' good lookin' cats!

Because he's smart


Yup, Andy does seem to be in possession of a fairly limited imagination, going to the well of the most obvious Jewish stereotypes right off'rn the muthafuckin' giddyup like a rank amateur. You think Howard Stern hasn't heard all that shit before? You best think again, Sonny Jim, Stern's heard it all & has said much more vicious & clever things, for that matter. Dick said, for two years I did the show, never got a cent, and I'm not complaining about that... I'm just saying the Jew facts. I never got paid. I have no problem with his big, fat, hook nose, and his money-grubbing miserly Jewishness. The Jew facts? Nudnik, please. Is that it, Andy? Is that all ya got, boychik? No one is impressed by that insult other than perhaps an ignunt Klansmen. &, are we to understand you did a show on Sirius for 2 years & you didn't get bubkis? What the what? That doesn't sound very shrewd to me. What a petseleh. What's the matter, there weren't any hook nosed, money grubbing Jewish agents willing to represent you? No? That's a damn shame, because, I don't know if you know this or not Andy, but....pssst, get in good & close now, Jews are known for their financial prowess...ness. Well, not for nuthin', but, based on your comments, I guess you do know that. But, shame on you for not remembering, ya big dummy. For this I shlepped all the way down here?

Look in the mirror, Dick


You've got to remember something, Andy; you're dealing with someone who just might be, or is very close to being a billionaire. Howard Stern didn’t get to where he is today by making bad deals. You've been in show business doing movies, TV, voiceovers etc. for what, 30 years & you've banked like, what, about $5 mil? That don't seem like very much, considering, do it now? No, it don't. What's wrong witchu'? Why you tryin' to pick a fight you don't stand a chance in hell of winning? So, Stern didn't stand up for your little piss ant show, what'd you expect? I guess you didn't suck his shvantz, who knows what might've happened if you had, other than Stern contracting genital warts & whatnot, you HPV havin' somebody or 'nuther. Stern's too shrewd for that, I reckon. Also, he's not a bisexual, either, if that makes a difference. Oh well, a man's gotta' do, I suppose. You know Andy, you're actually pretty funny in most of the roles you play, but in life, you are f'd the f up. Seriously, get some help, bwah, before we read about you going the way of Amy Winehouse, whose penultimate descent from the land of the living was as inevitable as it was tragic. I gotta' say though, her talent dwarfed yours for the most part. Apparently, though, you have a hell of a lot more endurance than she did, buying the farm @ the tender age of 27. Dammit, man, you've got children, why you gotta' be actin' like such a bitch? Well, it's a fair question. I don't believe you'll answer it though because now, with all the focus on your latest display of ass, I imagine you think you're being picked upon, even though I'm 99% positive that you brought 100% of it upon 77% of yourself. Sorry folks, I got 83% percentage happy. But, I digress. Well, 90% of me does, anyhow.

ah louey, jew a fucking asshole mang. his band is so good, all their instruments are stolen...they are stolen

Fla Fla Floley?


Now then, let's talk about Stern for a brief moment, shall we? This ugly, altogether unpresentable excuse for a human being has amassed an ungodly empire simply by shocking &/or insulting people. Don't get me wrong, he’s done plenty of funny shit, but I can guarantee you he hasn't earned dollar 1 being nice, which, is his prerogative. Funny doesn't make you a decent human being. But, even though he never claimed to be nice, he seems to be right in firing back @ Dick, saying, who’s gonna hire you?  he asked, adding that Dick was acting like a maniac and so of course, no one's gonna’ give you a job!  Dick has been banned from Stern’s studio as well as his building. But now, Stern has challenged Dick to come & go off on him to his face…apparently, just not in his studio or his building, or anywhere near him. What's next, Stern taking out a restraining order against Dick while challenging him to a tickle fight? C'mon! Oy, the glatt kosher irony of it all! But Stern has made me laugh over the years, butt bongo fiesta with Guess Who’s the Jew, Jungle Man & the Lesbian Dating Game were all classics. He’s brought us such lovable characters as Stuttering John, Baba Booey & Jackie the Joke Man Martling. &, who could forget Robin Quivers & all of the women he blatantly tried to have sex with, all the while insulting his wife Allison on the air? It takes a lot to offend me, but Stern actually managed to pull it off on his pay per view New Year’s Eve special when he showed a woman defecate  though her panty hose. What was that all about? I was pretty much done with Stern @ that point, though I did enjoy his movie, Private Parts, other than that, what has he given us? He allowed Clear Channel to all but banish him to satellite radio, where, he hasn’t been nearly as revolutionary as he was early in his career, though I suppose it’s difficult to re revolutionize shock radio where you’re allowed to say fuck from the jump. Whatever he’s doing, he’s infinitely more successful than Dick & will always out earn him as well as always having a place on satellite radio with his own channel & production company. This prompts the question, what does Andy Dick have to look forward to in the future? He’s counting on people in the biz remembering how funny he was as Matthew on News Radio & will hire him based on that memory because he hasn’t done anything to really define a casting type other than just playing various oddball characters that leave no legacy. Unless that happens, we will probably be sitting shiva for Andy's career very very soon. Well, I guess I’m done talking about Dick now, funny, the last time I was here, I was talking about Anthony Wiener. Who knows, maybe Dick Cheney will resurface & do something fucked up next week to keep this apparent phallic theme alive.  It'll be a mitzvah! Okay, time to nosh on some knish's. Zol zein, everybody! May you all have much nachas.

 

My parents just neglected me, I wasn't abused or anything -Andy Dick