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In a world where politicians are corrupt...um, business gets done?















money laundering ain't easy, you have to buy the right detergent & everything

Are you in for the ins & outs?
















may i help you?

& then, you can put it in a brown paper bag & put it in my hand cuz' i'm ready to eat













you want steam rice or fried?

Screw Rosetta Stone, I'm talkin' total immersion















the slushmasta' general

Slush? There's a fund for that











you want pray chinese checka'?

Hopefully, not all 9 billion of em know Kung Fu



















But, what have I accomplished?

I have the ways & means & I means to take your $$$




Well, if all this is true, then someone ought to do something about it, ough'nt they?




Democratic Congressman Charles Rangel is an unethical Muthafucka'…shut yo mouth! Just talkin’ ‘bout Rangel. Hey, you were supposed to interrupt me before I said fu...shut yo' mouth! Ah, much better.


Charles Rangel’s short lived ethics trial on Tuesday looked bad for him on the surface, but if you peel away the layers you’ll see that it may very well prove to serve to prove a point to republicans: the lame duck that quacks last, quacks the loudest. The Democrats denied Rangel’s request to postpone his trial after his ill gotten defense dropped him, which, Charles thought was unfair, but in the end, will probably be better for him. Had the Democrats waited until the new session convened next January, Rangel would not only be reprimanded & penalized; he would most likely be expelled if the republicans were to get a hold of him. Unfortunately, the current committee'll end up giving him a slap on the wrist & he’ll ultimately get off scot free. When the panel told Rangel he wasn’t going to get his postponement, he got up, huffed indignantly & said I’m going to have to excuse myself, as he stormed out of the courtroom, like a proud peacock in all of its sartorial splendor. How can anyone have confidence in the decision of the ethics subcommittee when I was deprived of due process rights, right to counsel and was not even in the room? Rangel said in a written statement. I can only hope that the full committee will treat me more fairly, and take into account my entire 40 years of service to the Congress before making any decisions on sanctions. He needn’t worry. Having the trial now instead of when the next session convenes pretty much guarantees he’s still going to continue his career of public service & those corporate sponsored trips to the Caribbean will have to be conducted with just a modicum of discretion. I mean, you might have to pay for your own sunblock or something. Is that something you think you can grasp the concept of, Charles? But, what is there to do in the Bahamas for an 80 year old man anyway, take naps & wait until it's time to try to, umm, how do I put this lightly...poop? He could do that all that right here in America, & not even have to violate any ethics codes in the process. See, problem solved. Perhaps you shoulda' consulted me sooner, Charlie.

okay, now you set the briefcase with the "real" tax return in it on the ground next to mine & we'll do the old "switcheroo". Ready 1,2,...wait someone's looking, meet me back here @ 0000 hrs

It's only a crime if you get caught

The wRangeler strikes me as the type o' bloke what's been living the high life on someone else’s dime for so long, he feels as though he’s entitled to do so, &, the thought of actually having to pay for his own shit leaves him feeling colder than Christine O'Donnell's tits in a brass bra. But, how much longer is he going to be around anyway? 80 is pretty old & I’ll bet you anything he still drinks & eats like he was in his late 70’s & who can keep up that kind of pace, I ask you? If I was that old, I'd probably just go ahead & start taking it easy & stop trying to scam money out of people already. Don't you think that you're a little old for that kind of thing anyway, Charles? Doesn't that strike you as a little, I don't know, just a tad unethical? Do you not believe you should be held accountable for your own actions? Say there C Rang, didn't you get $300,000 from your own national leadership PAC to cover attorneys' fees, violating House rules? I'm sorry, you're probably just running under the assumption that the old sociodemocraciotical philosophy of wealth redistribufication means redistributioning it to your own self. Sadly though, it doesn't. Like I said, You been running your little fiduciary siphoning operation for a loooong while, so I guess it was only but a matter of time before it come back ta' bite cha' in the ass. You should be thankful you've gotten away with it as long as you have, & in the end, the consequences you'll have to suffer will be minimal, thanks to the committee denying your postponal this morning & you know it, mister. Once you get censured, you'll have your little moment of embarrassment, &, then things'll pretty much go back to normal for you, so stop acting so put upon. But, I can only suppose that all of your indignationary outbursts are simply all a part of the little scheme you guys have cooked up to keep you out of any real trouble. Well played, Sociopaths, I mean Socialists, I mean Democialists, I mean Democrats...I guess.


Sorry Charlie, only the best tasting tuna  get to be starfish. Is that right? That doesn't sound right.

Don't be hatin'

Yessiree, republicans are going to have a field day picking this one apart but I think we all know it's going to be an exercise in futility for them. Does the phrase picking your battles hold any special meaning for you? They would certainly be better off concentrating on how they're planning on overturning every single solitary little thing Obama & his Democratic avengers have pushed right past them the last two years to try & fix Bush's fuck ups, but, since they haven't had a chance to finish, can't we finally get back to the good old days? Why, when was the last time we started a war, or ratted out a spy so that they could get murdered, or gave massive contracts to a company the Vice President still draws money from to rebuild Iraq's infrastructure only to have them not even come close to completing the job but, still went ahead & kept all the money anyway, or order torture & then deny it? Isn't it about time America got back to those kinds of values? Oh man, if'n only North Korea was predominantly Muslim or even better, was sitting on an ocean of oil, then, we could invade them & Iran simultaneously & have up to 4 wars going on @ the same time. I know, I know, it'll cost a lot of money we don't have & stretch our already overtaxed military even further, but what the hell, it's a risk I'm willing to take if only China would see clear to loaning us the money to do it. Shit, Obama, you should get right on that if you expect to have any kind of chance in 2012 against the collective war machine that is Palin, Romney, Huckabee or Perry.

Exit the Dragon, enter the Eagle

Hey, they could even put in a Chinatown down there & everything

Or, & I'm just spitballing here, so hear me out, borrow even more money from China, wait, wait, it gets better; then, invade them & completely wipe out their entire armed forces & infrastructure so, the only money they'll worry about seeing from us is humanitarian aid. Ah, I can see it now, China completely Americanized with a Panda Express on every corner. Then, they'll finally see what real Chinese food is all about. Pretty smart, eh? I thought so. See, I'm always thinkin'. &, if you were able to pull that off Obama, it'd take everyone's minds off Rangel & he could get back to the business of misappropriating funds for his own personal use already, because hasn't he done without long enough? Hey, didn't I say that about Tony Hayward a few months back? How much more suffering must the poor man endure? What are the odds that he's paying any of his own expenses even now? The guy has spent the last 40 years just bilking the system for everything he could. Okay, maybe not 40 years. I'm quite certain that when he first became a Congressman, he was an idealist, who, only wanted to serve the very constituency who thought enough of him to cast his name on the ballot. Then, on his second day, someone bought him lunch & donated a big chunk o' cashish to his political action committee, & the next thing you know, he's on trial for ethics violations some 4 decades later. It's a crazy world, eh, Charles? Know what I mean, eh? Nudge nudge, wink wink. A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? Say no more. So, good on ya Chuck, thanks to the lame duck, you've discovered that crime does pay. It pays the rent, the food, the travel & just about everything else a public servant could ask for. & you call yourself a Congressman? Oh, you do? Well, I guess that makes sense. What I meant to say was, & you call yourself a criminal? Hello? Hello? Hey, where you going? Oh great, just walk away, that's what you're good at. Quack.


We don't windsurf in Harlem.- Charles Rangel