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Underage Hookers of the World Beware! LT's in Town.








it's time to get shit started on the mup-pimp show tonight

Further Evidence of Evolution










$$ life ain't nuttin' but bitches n' money $$

Then Again, Dolemite Not.










you know it's hard out here for a cave pimp.

Thanks to evolution, the cavemen that didn't die out, became cavepimps











if you're a hunter gatherer, don't click on this link

Drag your caveman by the hair to see this play










buy this pimp shirt cuz it's totally pimp

What's so surprisin' 'bout Big Pimp merchandisin'?










Ride your Jesusaurus to the Creationist Museum













i have a theory all right, a theory that bananas just happen to be the most delicious thing ever, & are a gift from Jesus, whom I don't believe in!

A Theory in Crisis





Hmmm, LT doesn't looked coked out @ all in this mug shot




LT Charged with Raping a Hooker? How can you Rape a Hooker? That's they job. &, DNA Shows Humans & Neanderthals Mated. Hmmm, I Guess that Explains Russell...Crowe... Magnon, Man.


Poor poor LaDainian Tomlinson, having to be tarred with the epithet LT now that the original LT has been charged with raping a 16 yr old runaway turned hooker. I am sure every time LaDainian hears those initials called out now, he'll cringe. Oh well, at least he isn't looking down the barrel of 3rd degree rape & soliciting prostitution charges. According to his lawyer, though, LT did NOT do it. My client did not have sex with anybody. Period, Arthur Aidala said, adding: Lawrence Taylor did not rape anybody. Now, I heard him quoted on ESPN say several times that LT did not have consensual sex with anybody. I guess he realized how that sounded & amended his quote to include that he didn't rape anyone either. Phew, that was close! Of course, LT's troubles are well documented, & this further cements his legacy of just not being able to ever completely get his life straightened out.

A Taste for Ho's

Back in the 70's & 80's, Lawrence Taylor was widely regarded as the best defensive player in the NFL, & that made him a rock star. He was the prototypical linebacker & indisputably changed the way the position was played forever. Women & drugs were literally thrown @ him & he partied as hard as he played. After his football career ended, LT became equally famous for coke & hookers as he did for relentlessly sacking quarterbacks, & he had a lot of trouble stopping. After stints in rehab & multiple arrests, it had seemed as though he had straightened his life out finally, then this latest thing happened. If he's convicted of this newest charge, he'll be looking @ some hard time, 4 to 5 years. Now, he'll be able to score coke in jail, but his penchant for young hookers will have to be replaced by some bitch cons inside. He will also have to watch his ass because @ the age of 51, he probably won't be the biggest, baddest con in the joint, so if he's not careful, he could get punked out. He might wind up having to share a cell with an Eagles or Bills fan who have harbored hatred for the Giants over the years, in which case, he's screwed. Taylor, a Florida resident, was in Ramapo NY, to play @ Spook Rock, his favorite golf course. &, after playing 18 holes, who couldn't use a nice hooker delivered to your room for a little bit of R n' R? & it's a pretty sad state of affairs when someone like LT, who had to be making the max NFL contracts of the day couldn't afford to just call a reputable escort service & not have to go through some predator pimp who no doubt preyed on this frightened runaway girl who had no choice but to go wherever he took her.

Excrutiatingly Pimplicious

& whether or not LT did what was alleged, I would really like to hear more about this Rasheed Davis character, the pimp who was holding the runaway, & I think that we all know she wasn't there by her own free will. He's the kind of predator that there are far too many of. Lots of women have to peddle they asses to get by in life & they believe that if they use a pimp, they'll be protected. Unfortunately, the pimps wind up doing more damage to them than the Johns they're supposed to be protecting them from. It's one bitch of a double edged sword. So, now, the runaway girl will be shipped on home to her parents and LT & now, hopefully, Rasheed, will get thrown in jail. Who knows, this could well have been an even more sophisticated Ben Roethlisberger type of set up, hoping to make a sucker out of LT, & possibly scam some of his remaining cash. The report says that after LT, Davis was taking the runaway to another John & she didn't like it & texted her uncle, who called the police. The cops found LT by using the room number the runaway hooker gave them, but, someone could've easily followed LT, got his room number & gave it to pimp boy Davis, who would try to use it to pull whatever scam they were trying to perpetrate. Who am I kidding, this is LT & Rasheed we're talkin' about here. Odds are, LT solicited this girl & went ahead & banged her even though she said she was 16, & went to sleep, only to be awakened by cops several later around 0400edt. Stupid bastard. Even though his lawyer is saying he didn't know she was 16, the D.A. doesn't care, citing ignorance being no excuse & with the impetus on him to find out. I'm not exactly sure, & you can correct me on this, but, I don't think that carding a hooker you're trying to bang is the proper street protocal. You ain't keepin' it real, you ain't representin'.

The prosecution is also claiming that they possess a used condom worn by Mr. T (not to be confused with Mr. T) himself, & if they come up with his DNA, he's goin' away. It's as simple as that. When leaving the courtroom following his arraignment, LT put his head down as he walked past the crush of media with their cameras & said I'm not that important. To put it another way, forget about me folks, I'm goin' to jail. In conclusion, if'n she told him she was 16 & he done rapeded her anyway, I hope they put him away & fuck up his shit, but good. If not, I hope he can afford himself a good attorney. Hopefully, he chooses his attorneys better than he chooses his cut rate pimps. Ain't that right, Rasheed? We know that you have a choice when it comes to predatory pimps, we wanna' thank you for choosing...Big Pimpin' Daddy Rasheed. & you know Rasheed be sportin' him that righteous Pimp Cup, now. Keep ya' pimp hand scrong...it's thug law, muthafuckas'!


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Mating with Humans? So Easy, a Caveman Could Do It.

(NY Times)-Neanderthals mated with some modern humans after all and left their imprint in the human genome, a team of biologists has reported in the first detailed analysis of the Neanderthal genetic sequence.

Well, no shit, so called Svante Paabo. What, do you mean to tell me you haven't seen those GEICO commercials? I don't know if you scientists realize it or not, but that is actual footage, folks. So, there was some overlap between when the humans arrived on the scene & when cavemen died out & naturally, some of them hooked up. There is no big surprise there. Those neanderthals may have been dirty & unshaven, but they were probably fairly buff & just stupid enough for early women to be attracted to. You can be certain that all the early men hated those neanderthals because, even though they were far more advanced, erect & sophisticated, the cave men were a mystery to them, &, as we all know, that's what women like. They'd see them hanging around the gym, with their inordinately large foreheads & protruding orbital ridges & just had to find out what they were all about. & you know them triflin' cave men didn't even call the next day or send flowers, which made the women want them even more. & the bitch ass early men had to believe that if they were only more sensitive, early women would like them better. But, of course, it didn't work, just the same as today. The more that things change, the more they stay the same. & for all you creationists who don't believe in evolution, what's up now? Talk about your low hanging fruit.

Someone Had to Create Evolution, Why Not God?

Whether or not you believe in evolution, this is some pretty telling evidence, but in the end, if you were a creationist, it still wouldn't compell you to even consider evolution as a possibility. You could be shown volume upon volume of irrefutable proof, not just evidence, proof, & you still are too narrow minded to accept it as anything other than a fairy tale. It's all part of God's intelligent design & there are absolutely no other variables that could possibly factor into it. I don't think you give God enough credit. You don't believe God could come up with something as clever as evolution? Are you trying to piss him/her off? Face it, you're all a buncha' inflexible blockheads. & before you start laughing, all you evolutionists aren't much better, thinking that there is absolutely, positively no chance that there is a God. Why not believe in both evolutionism & creationism? Think about it, God created a whole lot of stuff, it worked up to a point, then it didn't work anymore, but luckily, God built some systems inherent within every organism to adapt & even improve themselves & survive the ever changing conditions & allowed them to, wait for it...evolve. All the ones who aren't capable of taking advantage of these systems or don't have them built in are selected naturally to go away forever, it's called exinction, perhaps you've heard of it? That makes God happy for the ones who used their evolutionary abilities & naturally, sad for the ones who didn't make it, which incorporates both concepts of creationism and evolution. Oh my God, or, oh my Darwin, what a radically revolutionary new concept! Here's an idea, you can call it creatiolutionism! Oh wait, someone already has. Well, just because someone else has already thought of it, doesn't mean that I shouldn't @ least get all of the credit for it. & hey, you can go ahead & discredit me on judgement day if I'm wrong. If you look @ it logically, it clearly has something for everybody, I.E. God created every living being & evolution gave them the chance to survive, & hey, you could just throw in 72 virgins for the moslems. Oh, also, you can go ahead & peruse this recently discovered document that pretty much proves the theory of creatiolutionism. I don't know man, it's still just a theory. But, like all theories, it has it's holes, in fact, it's a pretty preposterous postulation. But, don't let the fact that it also just so happens to be the greatest theory since Chaitlin's Algorithmic information theory have any influence on your way of thinking or alter your obviously fragile idealogical belief systems in any way. It's Spiritus Mundi, you obtuse, leptonic cretins of middling magnitude!


Bitch jumped in the car asked me where we goin'? I'm shorty the pimp, bitch, you goin' hoin'" -Too $hort