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It's Tiger's World. Who Said Nice Guys Finish Last?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

urry body know dis

Tiger's Real Favorite Brand!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let the healing begin

Like it too Much? Go Where Tiger Go

 

 

 

 

 

 

mmmm, goes down smooth after goin' down on a random hooker

Take a Good Look, These are Now Collectors Items

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tiger Don't Need Charity

 

 

 

 

 

Let's help them kids out & whatnot

Of Course, Like Everything Else in his Life, It's Built on a Foundation of Lies

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It looks like a mirac....it's in the hole! It's in the hole!

4-6-10

Tiger is Much Better Now after Rehab...Phew!!!

 

Augusta, Georgia (CNN) -- A humbled Tiger Woods returned Monday to Augusta National Golf Club and told reporters that he has emerged from rehab a better man, if not a better golfer.

I remember way back last Thanksgiving weekend when Tiger had hisself a lil' old accident, & ever since then, he's been the subject of an unprecedented amount of scrutiny. & that scrutiny yielded much info of the tabloid variety. We found out he was banging, as ESPN's Randy Galloway puts it, road lizards, left & right, & not just bimbos, classy broads, too, by his own admission! But, he got caught & assaulted by his own wife & then it was off for a whirlwind 45 day stint @ a rehabilitation clinic for his sex addiction where the tabloid rumors were that Tiger hooked up while he was there, tres' appropo, non? But now, he's all better, praise the lord, & he's going to play in the Masters this weekend. He's been building up to this for the last 6 weeks or so, slowly making himself more publicly visible to get people used to the idea of seeing him again. I know I'm excited about it. Not being a golf fan, I really don't care if he plays or not, it's just fun watching all of his fake contrition & knowing how many ignorant people out there believe him, or are @ least such big idolaters of him, they want so very desperately to believe him...even though the odds are, they know he's still a liar. & a stupid liar, too. What's the matter Tiga', you ain't never heard of no playa' phone? You see kids, a playa' phone is a kind of disposable cell phone you keep handy so when all them fine ass honeyz hit you up with they texts, it don't show up on the family plan phone records. All them boys who looked up to you thought you was real smart. But, apparently, you ain't, ya' non Gatorade endorsement havin' so & so.

But, I have to wonder one thing, does Elin believe it? She hasn't shown up @ any of his press conferences & she won't be by his side @ the Masters tournament. It'll probably be some time, if @ all, that she appears in Public with Le Tigre'. How can she & the kids feel like a family knowing that their patriarch fucked no less than 14 women & probably treated them like the ho's that they are. You can't tell me that all of these bitches didn't know he was married. Was it all Tiger's prowess in the sack or do you think maybe most of them were thinking Tiger was going to cash them all out fo' they sexual slavery? That makes them, in effect, hookers, am I right? & if they didn't actually receive cash from Tiger, you know there were lavish gifts bestowed upon these, ahem...women. So, Elin, your husband banged 14 hookers & you're still with him, kind of. Does that make you a) smart b) still in denial or c) just waiting for him to fuck up 1 more time & then cashing out Tiger completely? Well, that doesn't make sense, you already had him right where you wanted him. You know what, I take that back, where you wanted him was probably @ home, being a faithful husband, father & family man. I'm sorry if I seem insensitive, but your husband is a jagoff, I don't care what kind of show he put on for the press to make himself look good. He's still the same old tagging random hookers & feelin' like the king of the world kind o' guy.

I guarantee you that if he hadn't gotten caught when he had, he would no doubt be knocking the bottom out of some random cocktail waitress as we speak. We'll see if being faithful to his family will have a positive or adverse affect on Tiger's golf game. He seemed to play his best golf when he was hittin' strange on a regular basis. I can just see it now. He'll be on the 18th green @ Augusta, lining up a 20 foot putt for birdie & he'll look out into the crowd & some groupie golf hooker will be eyeballing him & he'll be thinking, all right, now, if I can just sink this putt, I'll go & hook up with that hot piece of...Oh, man, that's right, I'm not allowed to do that anymore! Whew! Hmm, okay, maybe I'll have Steve slip her my condo key & oh no no no no no, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. But wait, if I'm just really super careful this time I could...No! I love Elin, I love Elin, I love Elin, I love Elin. But, I love random trim too, oh my God, I love it so much. Hmm, talk about your all time moral conundrums. Try to think about it analytically, Tiger, it all comes down to this. What to do, what to do, what to do? Hmm, I wonder if she's wearing a thong?... Then he'll hear, Tiger, would you fucking putt already? Jesus! He'll then wake up & realize that for about the past 5 minutes, he'd been daydreaming about banging some miscellaneous golf skank & would come back to his senses, sink that putt & then...Snap! Crisis averted! Phew, thank God. That was a close one. Welcome back Tiger, we've all missed you. You da' man up in this muthafucka'!

Come on Steve, I wanna' bang her! Please? How about that one? That one? No? BooHooHooHooHoo!!!! Oh, God, Why? Why? Why?