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The world's not big enough for Rush, Michelle & Charlie...or is it?

















o to the i to the n to the muthafuckin' K!

& the guy behind me is even fatter & the guy behind him is fatter still, etc. etc.













love me gayle, love meeee!

Michelle Oprah-ma?

















i hate people, but i love gatherings, ironic isn't it?

This is one hateful cocksucka'


















suck my 2.5 balls

Mmmwa, goodbye Amy Winehouse, me old beauty













soooooooeeey, pig pig pig pig

Pick up your feet & point your mouse to where the assholes meet


















your local law enforcement agency wants you

Ixnay on the ig latin pay



vegetables, sumtin rush don't eat


Rush Limbaugh takes a shot @ Michelle Obama's fitness. Ah, the joys of irony. Charlie Sheen & the art of winning by losing everything.


You know what'd be nice? I'll tell you. It'd be nice to be able to write about something nice for a change. With all of the unrest in the world, all (r)epublicans seem to be able to do is snipe @ the Obamas. Last week, Michele Bachmann & Sarah Palin were on the 1st ladys' back about how she was trying to encourage mothers to breast feed so their children could be healthier & less prone to obesity & this week Rush Limbaughs' going on about how she is no swimsuit model. Bra-vo! That is quite the astute observation, Rush. Then again, when did she claim to be anything other than what she is? How often do we see her out in public in a bikini? Does she run around all scantily clad getting in pillow fights or participating in fund raising car washes with hot co-eds & what not? What difference does it make to Rush, exactly? Is he trying to paint her as some sort of hypocrite because she was seen dining on a plate o' ribs while on vacation, or because there was another instance where she ate a (shudder) cheeseburger? Oh lawdy lawd, someone alert the media! Oh, wait, someone done already did. Other than snacking on the occasional comfort food, she seems pretty healthy to me, so, what's with the sudden obsession with her weight? Rush lost a few pounds & has been on the Golf channel & suddenly he's a personal trainer & nutritionist? Why, it's almost as though the days of him being a giant, cigar smoking, Oxycontin popping, fat fucking feral hog never even happened, other than the fact that they're still happening, of course. Rush still smokes cigars & is easily one of the worst human beings in the history of history who literally does nothing but spew hatred, propaganda & also says & does things what ain't so nice neither; so, who is he to criticize someone who's clearly trying to help people? Not fer nuthin' but, he's Rush Limbaugh, that's who. & with all he has going for him, he doesn't even mind looking like a complete & total hypocrite or anything.

For some reason, Rush feels the need to point his big fat finger @ Michelle Obama's eating habits when he's clearly had his own issues with obesity in the very recent past. Even though he's managed to drop a few pounds himself, it takes a lot of nerve to poke fun @ someone else whom we don't even know has a weight problem. But, given Rush's history with addiction, including food & prescription pain killers, odds are pretty good he will be a chubby junkie before you know it, jamming his face hole with Twinkies & codeine again one day very very soon. So, don't cry for him, Argentina. Hey Rush, why don't you fuck off & go sword swallow Ann Coulter or something, Rush, because this has nothing to do with you. Go back to criticizing Barack Obama for being a better president than Bushtard. Your words carry a lot of weight with the people who want to hear them, but it's not like you're making any new neo converts. We've heard it all before & your shit is tired & played out. But, the good news for all of us is, it's going to be torture for you when Obama is re elected because your party can't throw up a candidate who's worth a fuck. &, All you have to offer anybody is...wait, hold on, it'll come to me. Oh yeah, you have nothing to offer. Well, nothing new to offer, anyway. We've all heard your hatred philosophy, so, what else is there? Unless, of course, you should happen to want to publish some pictures of you & your buff physique in a Speedo standing next to Michelle Obama in a bikini so we can compare waistlines, we have no need for you. You have yourself a super day, piggie, you ignunt racist fuckhole.

hi, i'm charlie sheen & i approve these cocktails

Charlie Sheen wants to smoke 2 & 1/2 rocks, drink 2 &1/2 bottles of Crown & bang 2 & 1/2 porn stars...sounds doable

Charlie Sheen, AKA Chris, AKA Bud Fox, AKA Charlie Harper AKA freaky deaky lunatic, done & went & gone & fucked around & got his show cancelled, too bad for him. Forced to live in his brother Emilio Estevez' considerable 80's shadow for a long time until his 1986 role in Platoon busted his own career wide open. Since then, he's worked, drank, smoked, drank some more & banged hookers & porn stars @ an alarming rate. I guess you could say that he's been what some 12 steppers might call an extremely high functioning alcoholic/junkie for a good long while, in fact, he got away with it for decades longer than most ordinary folks. Most guys couldn't muster the intestinal fortitude to party to such an extreme without losing everything. Back in the 80's when I was in the bar business, people I knew who got into the type of shit Sheen's into couldn't keep it up for more than a couple years @ the most before it all came crumbling down. The fact that Charlie's been able to keep it up for this long is nothing short of absolutely & positively, kind of, sort of, fairly amazing. The difference between Sheen & your average ordinary boozedrughound is merely a matter of money. Charlie has it, ordinary Joes don't. True, lots of people can keep up the pace of living such excessive lifestyles for long periods of time, but how many of them do you see kicking it in Beverly Hills mansions? Only muthafuckas' who work in professions that allow them to bank serious bank, that's whom. Movie, Television & Rock stars, big time Hollywood producers, directors, athletes & high powered executives can afford to do things like, go on hiatus, go into rehab, or even go the urban legend of the Keith Richards route of transfusions to make the bad blood go away. Out with the old, in with the new, as the old saying goes. Charlie knew this, & took advantage of it forever but you can only go through it so many times before your life spins so far out of control that eventually every aspect of it is altogether screwed. Charlie obviously just could not handle being that successful & the pressure finally got to him. Either that or he's just a fucking lightweight. I mean, golly, you'd have to be a total pussy to end up in rehab when ya got that much scratch. If you get too strung out on something, everyone knows you just switch drugs is all. That's what gateway drugs are for Charlie, don't you know anything? Gee whiz.

yeah, this looks pretty good, but what're the rest of you guys gonna drink?

So, there is such a thing as too much fun

Let's recap, first Charlie was married to well known Hollywood hottie, Denise Richards, & lost her because he partied & lovededed porn stars & hookers too much. Then, he managed to get on a show that became extremely successful, & lost that as well because he partied & lovededed porn stars & hookers too much. So, Charlie kinda' lost his mind & started going off on an array of rants with each one being a little more loony than the last &, appears to have dug himself such a deep hole, he won't be able to dig his way out. Unless of course, he has tiger blood & Adonis DNA. Oh, he does? Well, shee-it negro, that's all you had to say. Never mind, then. & here, all this time, we've been thinking Charlie was crazy but as it turns out, he's not only the master of his own universe, but everyone else's as well. Everybody has their own problems but we'd be fools to think we could handle them nearly as well as Charlie. His plan to wholly dominize the world is veritably foolproof. I believe we could all learn a thing or three from crazy Charlie, whose kick ass warlock lifestyle we would do well & good to emulate, because in the end, he will win the day on his quest to claim Absolut victory! Yes, I do realize I left the E off of Absolut. Yeah, it was intentionally intentional. Well, I thought it was clever, what with Charlie's proclivity to hoist assloads of alcoholized beverages on a regular basis in a constantaneous assault on his liver which has reached epic proportions & all. &, for all we know, he absolutely loves Absolut vodka. Oh, you do get it now? Phew, that's a relief. I was starting to think you was thick, & not in the good way. & who wants that thunk about them? Not nobody & leastwise not me of all, anyhow. Okay, like Charlie, I think we've had enough, so I'm going to have to cut you all off. See you next time on....On!


I knew if I got loaded I was going away for a while. People would say, Oh, you're just sober because you're on probation.- Charlie Sheen